Ode to the negative aspects of travel in East Africa

doc_ido · Sandal-wearing bean eater

Yes, my friend! Taxi? Mzungu! Rafiki!
Cheap Rolex watches? Maji baridi?
Where are you going? I want English lesson.
You have guitar! Come with me for jam session.
Give me my money! Give me pen pen!
You like African people? Well sponsor me then!
Just come in and look. This very good cell phone.
You don't want to buy? Then fuck you. Go back home.

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Swahili translations:

Mzungu - White person
Rafiki - Friend
Maji baridi - Cold water

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All the above things were said to me by locals during my travels in East Africa, though I've taken some artistic licence with the order and phrasing. Nothing has been made up. I should point out that all are scams of some sort (eg the "jam session" is down a dark alleyway away from other people). Also, the African accent is such that the lines scan properly when you read them (eg "jam session" is pronounced "jamSEssion").

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Disclaimer: This isn't a white supremacist article. I loved my time in Africa and would go again in a minute - I've just chosen to focus on the negative aspects of my trip, cynical misanthrope that I am. Wink

Anybody who's been to Africa will know exactly what I'm on about.
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We cannot choose what we are. Yet what are we, but the sum of our choices?

steven · Black Bloc

I just love the fact that you felt you had to explain an aspect of the metre on The Radish. Hope the travelling's going well, and you're spreading anarcho-syndicalist non-hierarchical decision making processes throughout the world.