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| Sazzle
Black Bloc
| | Joined: 12 Mar 2006 | | Posts: 219 | | : | | Location: The depths of selly oak |
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 Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 12:10 pm Post subject: Sex |
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The image of sex has changed over the centuries ....
In the early part of the 20th century it was revered and in the revolution in the 1960's it become for want of a better word "liberalised" - ie/ make love not war.....
Should it really be so casual and unthoughtless in todays society? With lack and feeling and emotion when we are at our most vunerable????
With women's magazines and contraception on the table - the thought does not connect it with having children anymore its merely about how to get the most pleasure one can get out of the situation. Flings are seen as good and people boast about the amount of people they have slept with like they are prizes
Its been on my mind for a while now and with this thread being free speech thought i'd ask what everyone expects in todays society and whether they are cool with the laid back attitude that we are presented whenever sex arises..... |
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| Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 12:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Can't wait to see how many male slags pipe up now! |
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| ZiggyMarley
Black Bloc
| | Joined: 31 Mar 2006 | | Posts: 306 | | : | | Location: Near The Goose/Leamington |
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| Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 10:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Anonymous wrote: | | Can't wait to see how many male slags pipe up now! |
Nee-na nee-na Guild sexism police to the scene.
I'll be going again now. |
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| Silvia
Black Bloc
| | Joined: 01 Mar 2006 | | Posts: 104 | | : | | Location: (Super) Douper Hall |
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| Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 11:07 pm Post subject: Re: Sex |
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Sazzle: Excellent post. It's issues like this that should be discussed on this forum rather than the usual Guild Exec blablabla palaver, as amusing as it may be at times.
| Sazzle wrote: | | Its been on my mind for a while now and with this thread being free speech thought i'd ask what everyone expects in todays society and whether they are cool with the laid back attitude that we are presented whenever sex arises..... |
Someone wrote a very good article about this: Valentine's Day Can Suck My c**k. I especially liked the part where he (from the title we infer the author is a he............ no comments!!) says something like: "it's like the whole world is a giant orgy and I'm left holding the lubricant" - a masterpiece.
Anyhow, on a more general level, I must confess I feel uneasy about people's approach to sex - especially university students. It's as if if you're not shagging as many people as you can, you're not fully enjoying yourself, missing out on "the best years of your life". Just because we are young and pretty and free and independent doesn't mean we have to be doing this. They say with great freedom comes great responsibility and they couldn't be more right.
Although it's a form of obtaining pleasure it seems like all of this has gone too far and now it's just debauchery. Some people argue that they do it because when they leave uni they won't have as much free time, won't be able to meet so many people, won't be so independent, won't be so good-looking, etc, etc, etc. I can see where they're coming from but just because the opportunity is there, doesn't mean you have to take it. And I say this because not every opportunity is a good one. I'm sure most of the people, when they look back at their uni years won't think: "Shoot, I shouldn't have slept with so many people/done that, etc." but at some point there must be some regret.
What are we doing to ourselves? This lack of self-respect, this vulgarisation.. It's a great way of gaining experience but is this the kind of experience we want? How much experience can you get from a 10-minute one-night stand with someone whose face you can't even recall? I guess most people only do it cos they're real drunk... which brings me to another question: why the hell do people here drink so much!!? You can have as much fun (if not more) by not getting drunk. I'm not a tee total or anything but getting wasted every night is not exactly my idea of having a good time. And if people need the aid of alcohol to do this, it's probably because they wouldn't do it if they were sober and this can only mean that... well, that they might regret it.
| Sazzle wrote: |
With women's magazines and contraception on the table - the thought does not connect it with having children anymore its merely about how to get the most pleasure one can get out of the situation. Flings are seen as good and people boast about the amount of people they have slept with like they are prizes |
This is very interesting debate material because I've always been intrigued by the idea that girls who fool around are sluts but guys are hunks. What intrigues me most is that I realised that although I accuse many people of being sexist, deep inside, I am too!! What's wrong?? Now women have the pill and information so that sex doesn't equate to baby... which I feel is great for women, since men never had that problem especially until DNA testing came up - they could always just argue that it wasn't their baby. But maybe it's made women more promiscuous. But then again... men have always been (in general). So is this women's sexual liberation a good thing or a bad thing?? The girls who go out showing off their fresh flesh in belts (they're too short to be called skirts) - are they to be frowned upon for being "sluts" and contributing to the perpetuation of the idea that women are sexual objects or are they to be praised because they are being free - which is what men have always been - and cunning enough to use their sex appeal to manipulate men (yes... we do that sometimes...)??
It's all very complicated and I've talked about it a lot with some male friends but, Sazzle... I guess what I wanted to say is that I don't know. Perhaps it is a good thing that has gone bad. Too much STDs and unwanted pregnancies and regrets and shame and stuff. But more liberty and experimenting and pleasure perhaps?? I guess I'm still a little more conservative but it's hard to not see both sides of it... |
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| wadsey
Indymedia Hound
| | Joined: 17 Mar 2006 | | Posts: 24 | | : | | Location: Birmingham Smelly oak |
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:51 am Post subject: |
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I like what both u gals have said (Sazzle n Silva) and agree to some extend. I'm most interesting in finding out what the Men think about this subject, i'm expecting that guys view this as a very different thing...do guys have the same emotional vulnerabilities that gals have associated with Sex? I'm sure, relating to another topic on the boards("Moussaoui's possible death sentence"), that guys can feel jus as violated as women do say when they are raped and other crude violations. Yet do guys (who tend to be more physically confident and liberal) find the intimacy of sex as personal like that of a gal???? Someone please enlighten me....
My opinion on the subject is that i feel sex doesn't get used in the greatest of contexts, maybe even abused, these days. Sex, aka Making Love, i think IS about making love with that person, gay or straight. Being about a special bond and an act to show the devotion and trust and attraction one person has for another. Having seen my parents split up when i was younger i even see the value in having only one sexual partner, being totally devoted to one person in that physical way is a beautiful thing - and plus it can't create complacency and subsequently love affairs (but mayb that’s jus a broken hearted naive Child’s thought?  )
I don't think that sex should jus be solely seen as a means to get children, i think it, in itself, is a activity that is meant to be pleasurable and enjoyable, and theres nothing wrong with having sex for that reason.... however to protect one's own mental well being/self confidence/self worth i believe it wise not to sleep with lots of random people, Especially if this is happening in search of "other half" / long term relationship or to please someone’s else expectations.
How much more precious is a present from someone you already know, someone who u dearly love than from a complete stranger or an fanciful acquaintance....? Sure its nice to receive presents from ppl u are attracted to, they make u smile, giggle  and generally feel good, but wat does it actually mean to ur soul in comparison to gifts received from that someone who is rooted in ur heart?? See wat i'm getting at? Having sex with someone can be an amazing gift / compliment...even a tender kiss from the one u love can flood ur heart with meaning and worth 100 times more than that of a drunkard half memory...agree??
Don't get me wrong, i kno i sound pretty full on, im just trying to speak from my own experiences; quite often in the past getting hammered and looking to get with guys for feelings of being wanted, for the fun of it, or jus because i think i can (but as the case has been, i actually can't  ). This is not necessary always such a negative consequence; u have good stories to laugh at when ur mate’s tel u wat u’v been up to and gain experience, but really...its not al that meaningful. I gues a good question is … is it worth keeping sex for those more meaningful times, so that they are even more precious moments, rather than being apart of a long list u don’t really fully remember? Should sex be meaningful??
(sorry kinda got carried away - wel done for lasting this far  )
Boys (n gals), Wat do u think?? Common be honest, free speech….. |
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| ZiggyMarley
Black Bloc
| | Joined: 31 Mar 2006 | | Posts: 306 | | : | | Location: Near The Goose/Leamington |
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:05 pm Post subject: Re: Sex |
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| Sazzle wrote: | The image of sex has changed over the centuries ....
In the early part of the 20th century it was revered and in the revolution in the 1960's it become for want of a better word "liberalised" - ie/ make love not war.....
Should it really be so casual and unthoughtless in todays society? With lack and feeling and emotion when we are at our most vunerable????
With women's magazines and contraception on the table - the thought does not connect it with having children anymore its merely about how to get the most pleasure one can get out of the situation. Flings are seen as good and people boast about the amount of people they have slept with like they are prizes
Its been on my mind for a while now and with this thread being free speech thought i'd ask what everyone expects in todays society and whether they are cool with the laid back attitude that we are presented whenever sex arises..... |
Most of the guys that I hang around with I am sure have never had sex without deep feelings for the person they have had sex with. But I might be in the minority there, I might not. I also think that if one part of the couple is having casual and unthoughtless sex then the other is. After all if you have a one night stand both partners are guilty as you cant have built up any trust or love in that short period of time.
I do disagree with Sarah that boasting about how many people you have slept with gets you kuedos. If perhaps you'd slept with 5 instead of 1 you might get a bit more as it imples you are sexually attractive to people. But if someone boasted they'd slept with 50 people in their lives (when they were of normal undergrad age) I am sure most people would find that a bit too many. Or maybe people wouldnt and thats just me thinking that way I don't know, lol.
I guess that the reason sex has become more casual these days is two-fold. Firstly we are living in a consumer culture which is fast moving. The quick thrill is enjoyed in all parts of society whether it is a greasy McD's after a night at Snobs or a line of coke at a fancy bar. Quick sex is just a symptom of a society that wants things here and now. Secondly it is a product of better methods of and easier access to contraception. The risks of becoming pregnent through sex are getting smaller and smaller. Even if you dont use protection you can still have the morning after pill (although not using protection, unless with a long term partner is as Eminem says "like putting your d**k in a hearse").
It is weird that in a more 'advanced' society were are going back to our more basic functions of having sex more often and with less feeling. Like evolution going backwards or something, lol. |
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| Sazzle
Black Bloc
| | Joined: 12 Mar 2006 | | Posts: 219 | | : | | Location: The depths of selly oak |
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 1:22 pm Post subject: |
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Another question for the mix (very controversial) - as a christian I am supposed to believe that marriage, sex and relationships are made just for heterosexual couples..... i find this a very hard concept to agree with.... surely if people love and care for each other the couple and even society benefits just as much from homosexual relationships as they do from heterosexual relationships... in a world with 1 in 4 marriages (almost 1 in 3 - thats 187,000 divorces alone in England in 2004) ending in divorce shouldn't we able to think that if a couple loves each other then they should be together - and not "without from their desires." As God does not send anything to us that that u could not resist temptation from (1 Cor 10:13) and homosexuality falls within this I find this a very narrow concept to find emphasis behind.... for I do not sin for finding another person attractive but only where the person is of the same sex.... surely this is wrong????? How am i meant to believe that just coz we are all different in our sexuality that they are sinning.... this concept is surely wrong ? or am i wrong for questioning?????
I'm afraid I have many questions floating around in my head... plus it prevents me "revising"
Sarah |
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| johnchas
Indymedia Hound
| | Joined: 25 Jan 2006 | | Posts: 19 | | : | |
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:32 pm Post subject: |
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As a man I feel most destructive invasion of my freedom comes from the invasion of my thoughts, from advertising companies, television, pornography and magazines, presenting the perfect female image, the perfect body shape, the perfect figure... which I find infuriatingly unavoidbaly attractive. I hate the fact that I sometimes look for a perfection in girls that only exists on the airbrushed figures plastered on the billboards and magazines. This invasion of the very heart of your person is horribly wrong and blocks the realisation that beauty and perfection come from people being perfectly imperfect.
What do other guys think???
_________________
"err. yeah there was... like this err... big bang... and err... now we have tescos....... oh surley nobodies going to buy that?" (Friedman Lemaitre, Scientist) |
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| ZiggyMarley
Black Bloc
| | Joined: 31 Mar 2006 | | Posts: 306 | | : | | Location: Near The Goose/Leamington |
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 5:25 pm Post subject: |
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John: I'm not too sure about that one. Yeah I understand that the pictures of celebs in the magazines make them look perfect and understand the notion of 'perfect'. And I understand (and see) that few women 'in the flesh' match up to this. However to me the women in the mags are not real and the women I see around me are. I like the variety that I see when real women are around as opposed to the homogeny of the magazine women. As long as I realise that the beauty in the magazine is false then I realise that the 'real' woman is more beautiful. And besides the 'perfect' women in the pictures do not talk, breath and move around us as real women do. They do not have personalities, which after all are the elements which make someone wonderful or someone awful. Thats my two cents anyway.
Sarah: As you know the bible is a very complicated book and there are many ways of interpreting it. I take the more traditional view on this issue, as do most Christians I would say. My line would be that you don't understand it, but you don't understand a lot of what the bible says and you have no right to question what God says. However there is the other argument that some Christians take that you can ignore that part of the bible. However, to me at least, ignoring parts of the New Testament is a risky business if you believe it is the word of God. Religion however is always slightly subjective. |
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 5:45 pm Post subject: |
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| So we're supposed to see homosexual relationships as wrong??! |
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| ZiggyMarley
Black Bloc
| | Joined: 31 Mar 2006 | | Posts: 306 | | : | | Location: Near The Goose/Leamington |
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 5:48 pm Post subject: |
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| Anonymous wrote: | | So we're supposed to see homosexual relationships as wrong??! |
Ummm sorry to have to say this but yes! Goodness knows I'm not a homophobe as Josh and Carradog will tell you but I don't think its the right thing to do in the eyes of God. But I'm not going to go around and tell people to stop, God made it so people are free to do what they want so I will let them! |
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| Sazzle
Black Bloc
| | Joined: 12 Mar 2006 | | Posts: 219 | | : | | Location: The depths of selly oak |
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 5:54 pm Post subject: |
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Dont think or believe thats the right stance to take!
I can't believe that that is the correct approach to take.....
I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of people who will disagree as well.... i don't think its fair at all to discriminate against a bunch of people who cannot help how they feel anymore than the fact that I hate chocolate....
Absurd!!! |
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| ZiggyMarley
Black Bloc
| | Joined: 31 Mar 2006 | | Posts: 306 | | : | | Location: Near The Goose/Leamington |
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 5:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Sazzle wrote: | Dont think or believe thats the right stance to take!
I can't believe that that is the correct approach to take.....
I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of people who will disagree as well.... i don't think its fair at all to discriminate against a bunch of people who cannot help how they feel anymore than the fact that I hate chocolate....
Absurd!!! |
Key words here that you typed Sarah are "I don't believe". And many people will disagree with me but millions do. As I said most Christians believe what I believe there, some are less tolerant than me and would call being homosexual 'disgusting' and not want to socialise with homosexuals. I'm quite a liberal! |
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:12 pm Post subject: |
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| ZiggyMarley wrote: | | Sazzle wrote: | Dont think or believe thats the right stance to take!
I can't believe that that is the correct approach to take.....
I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of people who will disagree as well.... i don't think its fair at all to discriminate against a bunch of people who cannot help how they feel anymore than the fact that I hate chocolate....
Absurd!!! |
Key words here that you typed Sarah are "I don't believe". And many people will disagree with me but millions do. As I said most Christians believe what I believe there, some are less tolerant than me and would call being homosexual 'disgusting' and not want to socialise with homosexuals. I'm quite a liberal! |
U know i'd knew we'd come into conflict again sometime soon!
How on earth is it right to victimise a specific section on the population... |
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| ZiggyMarley
Black Bloc
| | Joined: 31 Mar 2006 | | Posts: 306 | | : | | Location: Near The Goose/Leamington |
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| Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Anonymous wrote: | | ZiggyMarley wrote: | | Sazzle wrote: | Dont think or believe thats the right stance to take!
I can't believe that that is the correct approach to take.....
I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of people who will disagree as well.... i don't think its fair at all to discriminate against a bunch of people who cannot help how they feel anymore than the fact that I hate chocolate....
Absurd!!! |
Key words here that you typed Sarah are "I don't believe". And many people will disagree with me but millions do. As I said most Christians believe what I believe there, some are less tolerant than me and would call being homosexual 'disgusting' and not want to socialise with homosexuals. I'm quite a liberal! |
U know i'd knew we'd come into conflict again sometime soon!
How on earth is it right to victimise a specific section on the population... |
How can I know we'd come into conflict if I don't know who you are? Lol. And I believe that because my God and maker tells me to. Its called my religion, lol. And besides as I said I personally don't mind, its none of my business what anyone does, I just don't think its right! |
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