The guest

Emily Trembath · Armchair Activist

I am not one for self appreciation and never like to boast
But one thing my mother taught me is to be the very best host
There is just one small problem that I would really like to share
There are just certain guests where good host need to take care.

They come in to your house and get their cup of tea
They then proceed to chat and it is all just me, me, me.
Because they enjoy this conversation they stay far too long
So as you try to cook your supper you’d wished they’d be gone.

As it is only polite you offer for them to stay
The problem is they have no manners to help you clear away
The next thing to annoy the host is to offer one delicious brownie
And within half a second they’ve finished the lot just like an uncouth townie.

Now when these people finally leave it’s got all dark and wet
You lend them your best coat, thinking getting it back would be a safe bet
Now as the months push on and still no coat is given back
You see your coat upon them now looking like a tatty sack.

In this poem I am just sorry to have been so very bold,
But these naughty guests I feel really have to be told
Because the patients of the host does in fact wear very thin
And next time they approach my door I will not be letting them in.

vlad · Guest

Ace poem Emily!

I've written in an extra bit for your consideration. Ideally it would go between the 3rd and 4th verse. I hope you like it, it has a "contemporary feel" to it.

These mongrels sit up, swig faced on your booze,
they fumble with vigour in search of their shoes,
they depart with a fart and grin ear to ear,
and to your objections retort with a cheer.

John W · Guest

I like it Vlad, show me these uncooth scoundrels and I'll have words. On a completely unrelated (obviuosly!) note I would like to invite Emily Trembath and any friends or house mates that shes fit for company to a respectable, civilsed dinner party at my humble abode (96 Tiverton) where I will treat her to a delightful meal, a drop of gourmet wine and I promise I won't fart! Some time next week, give me ring xxxxxx.